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January 17 Ten reasons why Geeks make good friendsI've known my husband for 17 years now. I know, I know, that's a scary long time to be immersed in the world of geeks. Truthfully, you sort of get used to them after a while and begin to prefer hanging out with the Geeks. I met a woman, Ellie, 13 years ago that my husband worked with, a Geekette, if you will. She and I had the same sense of humor and hit it off immediately.
My husband has requested that, for once, I write a loving blog. Thinking about my friendship with Ellie over the years and the rest of the Geeks who comprise the bulk of our friends, I compiled a list of ten reasons why Geeks make good friends. I keep telling Steve that nice does not equal funny, but I'll try......
1. I know it's an obvious one, but the Geeks are computer literate. For those of us who primarily communicate by email and IM, and shop online, it's really difficult when someone says, I don't have email or IM. I always think, well so much for talking to you!
In this day and age, the World Wide Web is where it's at. Get with the program. If my husband's 73 year old grandfather and this 89 year old lady from our church can figure it out, so can you. I get so annoyed when someone the same age as I am says "I don't know how to work a computer." ARRGGG!
I don't go to stores, I shop online. We bought our car online for God's sake. I rarely use the telephone anymore. If a company doesn't have a website, I consider them difficult to do business with and move on to someone who does.
I also have a problem when couples share an email address. First of all, you never know who the email is coming from, and second of all, sometimes my friend's husband will pretend to be my friend. Geeks would never violate protocol like that. Oh the HUMANITY!
2. I love the innocence of Geeks. The Geeks weren't the ones face down in a pool of their own vomit for most of their high school years. A rough Friday night for them as a teenager was when the computer crashed and they spent all night trying to fix it. I don't know a single Geek who was too drunk the following morning to take their SATs. In my defense, that was the first time I had ever had 151 Bacardi.
My friend, Ellie, was in her early 20's and had never been drunk before. We had a huge party and she decided that was going to be the night. Around 10 pm I walked into my bathroom to see her hugging the toilet, a guy holding her hair back and her heaving like she was trying to get it out of her feet. She looked up at me as I walked into the bathroom, tears running down her face and said "Am I doing this right?" I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because she looked so pathetic. She was completely consumed with worrying that she was worshiping The Porcelain God correctly. Now I'm not saying the Geeks don't know how to party, they just figure it out a hell of of a lot later than the rest of us.
3. Geeks are smart and funny. They get the Dennis Miller jokes. I suppose I must have some sort of inner Geek, because it wasn't until I started hanging out with the Geeks, that people really started getting my jokes. Occasionally people would get it, but not always. Once I was watching European Vacation in the theater, and the girl looks at a sausage being served and said "I miss Jack...." I burst out laughing but it took the rest of the theater about 15 seconds to catch up with me. My friend Andrew was so embarassed that he got up and moved about 5 seats away from me which caused the whole theater to start laughing again. Honestly, how did they miss that joke?
4. Geeks are always straight foward and up front about things. They make good friends because they are loyal and won't stab you in the back. It doesn't occur to them. It's not logical.
5. I like the fact that Geeks have no pretense of social norms. They will invite you over to their house to play board games or D&D, never realizing the rest of the world plays poker or drinks. Well wait, one time we got invited to a poker game at Geek's house (Bill). Steve and I took everyone's money. We beat them so badly no one will play with us anymore. We taught them a game called Acey- Deucey and Bill still has nightmares about me shouting "POT IT!" Little did they know Steve and I used to play poker and Acey Deucey to get our laundry money in the dorms- or beers in a real financial emergency.
6. The Geeks will look up to you for coolness. They will listen to non-nerds. If you say, "Don't wear that, it's really geeky looking" it will give them pause. Course that won't work if you're talking about strapping the latest digital camera to their waist, but if it's not techincal, they'll listen.
7. Geeks will love your cooking. I have no idea why. I don't know if they're secretly starving to death or if their inability to cook causes them to always be starving but they will wolf down just about anything. And love it.
8. Geeks are an accepting bunch of folks. They will accept your weird friends, your family, whoever. No need to be embarassed, they've pretty much seen it all. My family is a- let's say unique- bunch of people. My brother, Philip, is fluent in Japanese and Italian. English is optional for him. He used to come into the house and just start rattling stuff off in another language, never looking to even see if anyone was listening or capable of understanding. My other brother, Garret, was the athlete. He loves to throw stuff at you. I would walk into the house and be prepared to catch whatever was coming at me, be it baseballs, footballs, basketballs, whatever. My sister is known for having permanent PMS. My mother has never shed her Louisiana accent in the 25 years she's been in California. She doesn't say Helen. She says HAAAALen. Long on the vowel there. My family is also extremely LOUD. It's the whole Italian thing I think.
Ellie knew these things about my family and yet she dared to stop by there with me one day about a year after we met. I opened the back door and instantly dropped the shopping bag I was carrying because I saw a football was flying at me. I caught it with an "oof" as Ellie stood wide eyed in the doorway. I said "Where is everyone?" to Garret as I passed by him and threw the ball back. He said "They'll be home any minute." Seconds later the back door opens and you hear "Konichiwa!" And then something rattled off in Italian. Ellie stifled a snicker. My sister came in screaming about something, looked at us with a snarl and then stomped off to her room. By this time, Ellie's face is red from trying to hold in the giggles. Just then, my mom walked through the back door and called " HAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN?" That's when Ellie lost it. She laughed so hard. As she tried to regain composure she says "I thought you were kidding about them!"
When we got home, Steve asked us how the shopping trip was. I said 'We stopped by Mom and Dad's on the way home." Steve's eyebrows raised expectantly and Ellie grins and all she says is "It was a little loud there!"
9. Geeks pay attention to detail. They're kind of an anal retentive-OCD type bunch. If my socks don't match, Ellie will notice. If I've got a pimple, Ellie will notice. If the cabinets in my kitchen are open, Ellie will close them. This isn't a bad thing, because if you've got something in your teeth, the female geek will tell you. The male geek will assume he has a chunk too, shrug and go on with his day.
One day I had made a blueberry smoothie for Steve and sent him to work with it. When I picked him up and he got in the car, he grinned at me and had a blueberry skin completely covering his front tooth. He looked like he was missing a tooth. It was a big, giant, ugly, black tooth. I said "You haven't seen Ellie today, have you?" He says "No, why?" I said "Please tell me you just drank that shake I made you before you got into the car!" He says "No I had it for breakfast this morning, why?" I sighed and pulled down the shade with the mirror on it. A Geekette would never let that happen to you.
10. You never, ever have to worry that should you find yourself in the position of having to do something athletic, that you will look like a dork in front of your Geek friends. They've cornered the market on that. If they're not the ones who are hideously uncoordinated, then they are either working with, dating, married to or friends with a number of them who are. You're an Olympic athlete comparitvely speaking. Go with it.
So there, I've said some nice things about the Geeks. It isn't always easy being married to one, perhaps you might want to date one, but you can always be friends with one.
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